making a big deal out of a normal, boring mood swing
Man, do I feel better today.
The comings and goings of mood can be fascinating. It's one of the things that makes it hard to predict the future, because we're so prone to processing information based on the mood we're in, rather considering how we might feel in the future. I had a prof. who was opposed to living wills for this reason. He figured that you might feel, right now, like if you were grossly incapacitated that you'd want to die with dignity, but that's easy to think when you're safe and warm and young and vain. But how do you know, when you've been incapacitated, that you won't feel differently? The drive to want to keep living is very strong - what could be a more natural product of evolution than feeling strongly impelled to survive? So, maybe it's even likely that when the moment of truth comes you'll be much less interested in dignity than in just living.
This all reminds me of a time when I was young, and having a fight with my dad. He said we could settle the argument after I'd eaten, because then I'd feel better. This was infuriating. I was arguing based on reason and principle, and what was wrong on an empty stomach would continue to be wrong on a full stomach. What was more infuriating was that he was right. After I'd eaten I felt much less pissy, and he ultimately won the argument. I can't believe he had the gall to feed me. What a dirty trick. But it's just a reminder of how we ignore our physical nature at our own peril. We are not only what we eat, but when we eat.
I mean to write more poetry soon. I find it very satisfying, I feel like my poetry reads more like my thoughts than my prose. But I have to be in the right mood. For now, here's a Robert Frost poem about emotion that's been rolling around in my head lately.
Fire and Ice
Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.
The comings and goings of mood can be fascinating. It's one of the things that makes it hard to predict the future, because we're so prone to processing information based on the mood we're in, rather considering how we might feel in the future. I had a prof. who was opposed to living wills for this reason. He figured that you might feel, right now, like if you were grossly incapacitated that you'd want to die with dignity, but that's easy to think when you're safe and warm and young and vain. But how do you know, when you've been incapacitated, that you won't feel differently? The drive to want to keep living is very strong - what could be a more natural product of evolution than feeling strongly impelled to survive? So, maybe it's even likely that when the moment of truth comes you'll be much less interested in dignity than in just living.
This all reminds me of a time when I was young, and having a fight with my dad. He said we could settle the argument after I'd eaten, because then I'd feel better. This was infuriating. I was arguing based on reason and principle, and what was wrong on an empty stomach would continue to be wrong on a full stomach. What was more infuriating was that he was right. After I'd eaten I felt much less pissy, and he ultimately won the argument. I can't believe he had the gall to feed me. What a dirty trick. But it's just a reminder of how we ignore our physical nature at our own peril. We are not only what we eat, but when we eat.
I mean to write more poetry soon. I find it very satisfying, I feel like my poetry reads more like my thoughts than my prose. But I have to be in the right mood. For now, here's a Robert Frost poem about emotion that's been rolling around in my head lately.
Fire and Ice
Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.
posted by H. Now at 7:26 p.m.
1 Comments:
That sense I had of being in control of my own destiny is.... fad....in.....g..........
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