step aside for greatness

Wow. I can’t believe nobody’s posted here since Wednesday. Pathetic. Well, if this space is just going to lie fallow like this, then it’s time for me to inject some zazz into it. First, I suppose, I should introduce myself. My name is Rod Longfellow. I am the most confident man you could hope to meet, and with good reason. I am skilled at most things, and those things which I am unskilled at (e.g., modesty) are unimportant and for weak, pathetic little babies. Perhaps you think modesty is a good thing. Well, it was not modesty that made me vice-president in charge of sales at a VERY important business which I cannot name to the likes of you. Suffice it to say that we make things that kill people who stand in the way of progress. No, modesty didn’t get me here. It may have had something to do with my barrel chest, or the fashion sense that tells me when to hate the things I once loved, or the smooth talk that drives the not-so-smart ladies wild. WILD! Mmmm, double-digit IQ is like blood in the water for this great white shark. Anyway, if you want to know what your problem is, why you have all your little cry baby anxieties, check back in the next time I’m on the scene. I am your ideal self. I am what Ralph Lauren models dare not dream. I am Rod Longfellow.